Saturday, May 21, 2011

Don'ts and Do's

A blog is much like Wikipedia.  Anyone can write one, so you know the information is accurate.  (Thanks, Michael Scott).  At the tutoring center where I work, three young ladies are getting married.  I love weddings. I've already admitted to registry stalking.  Without further ado, here are:

Lis' Wedding Don'ts and Do's
 (My parents call me Lis when I'm being bossy, which is most of the time, so the title fits)


1. Overthink and Overstress:  My breaking point was that the dyeable bridesmaids' shoes were not the exact same shade as their dresses.  Think blush and bashful, friends.  Mix and match.  Not just match. Also, seating charts don't matter.  In the grand scheme of things, ivory versus bone invitations don't either.  Nor does the intricate pattern on your china, bubbles versus birdseed, ice sculptures, bird releases, and all the garage the wedding industry shoves your way.  It's a big day, and it deserves special attention.  But those small things are not what you will remember.  Trust me.

2. Try to lose a ridiculous amount of weight.   The brides-to-be I mentioned are all dieting. None could be over a size 10. (Please don't think I'm saying size 12 and up are fat.) All look healthy and slim.  Really.  Get your dress to fit your body and pick the dress that flatters you, not necessarily what's most in fashion currently.

3. Slouch.  I think it could be generational, but today's youth are slouchers.  As in their posture.  I wish someone had been in charge of making me stand up straight, because I slouched in a lot of my pictures and wish I hadn't.

4. Act a Fool.  This goes back to number 1.  Don't diva out.  Be gracious.  Stay on top of thank yous.  Don't put presents away until the note is written.  Do something nice for your parents.  Thank them.  Tip everyone.

5. Let the Moment Pass You By.  This day may be one of the only times in your life where everyone important to you is in one place.   Be yourself.  If you want to cry, cry.   I wore a goofy grin and cried and laughed and danced with all the groomsmen.  Drug my new husband around the floor for each specially selected song.  Danced with my sister. So, take pictures with everyone.  Eat the cake.  And the groom's cake. Lift your glass, whether it's Sprite or champagne.  Kiss that man 100 times.  It's an awesome day.  Celebrate it.


1.  Take time to set goals.  Weird for a wedding tip, but this is more for the marriage.  What do you want your marriage to look like?  What tangible steps will you take towards creating a good marriage?  Do it now, because the busyness of life will come after your resolve.

2. Have a wingman.  You need your support system and you especially need someone to keep you in line.  When you get so absorbed in the minutiae that you can't think straight, you need someone to bring you back to reality.  Hopefully, your fiance can be a voice of reason, but you need someone else who can bring you objectivity.   The Mother of the Bride and Mother of the Groom are probably already planning baby names, and your best girlfriends are more than likely in the throes of their own romances, so find someone who has been-there-done-that and lived to laugh at it.

3. Prioritize.  Weddings are costly, no matter the budget, so decide what is most important.  For me, it was pictures and music.   Then venue and flowers and food.  Not elaborate favors or over-the-top "wow" moments. 

4. Accept help.  If someone wants to throw you your 15th shower, let them.  This is not just your day.  While you have the right to have your wedding follow your tastes, be sensitive to those in your life that want to be included.

5. Be Thankful.  It was hard to think of a fitting end to this list, but I think this covers them all.   Don't forget to take time for your other relationships, especially your spiritual one. It makes the day all the sweeter.

Again, I love weddings.  I have a family wedding to attend this August.  Got my dress.  I'll RSVP, buy off the registry, and otherwise be a good guest.  And most importantly, I'll "get down with my bad self," because life is to be lived!

Now, go forth and wed (or be wedded) well!

See?  I followed my advice.

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