Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself a Letter...

I began a new bible study with the ladies of my church entitled "John, The Beloved Disciple" by our friend, Beth (Moore).  In the introduction video, she encouraged us to write a letter to God honestly laying out all the things we really desire.  The study centers on the heart, as John identified himself as "the one Jesus loved". 

I haven't written mine yet (though I will).  However, when I examine what I think about when my mind wanders, it often goes to what I desire.  And most of what I desire is pitifully small in terms of eternity.  I know God will, and has, meet my every need.  I just need Him to reveal what my needs really are.

I like stuff.  (That's shocking.)  Like I-phones.  And mini-vans with automatic doors.  And Southern Living decor, and Pottery Barn Kids catalogs, and fully funded emergency accounts and all things shiny and new. (Hey buddy, I like new stuff).  We all do.  If I pretend I don't like and want that stuff sometimes, I'm just a hypocrite.  Anyway.  This stuff  preoccupies my thoughts at times, even though I know any thing, or even any relationship or quality or goal apart from God's perfect timing is a striving against the wind, to quote my bud Solomon.

So, I think I "want" contentment.  I want to actively seek and find Jesus and let him deal with all my wants.  'Cause my wants--from the trivial to the sacred-- will only be blessings in His time.  HIS time, Melissa.  His time.

And, y'all, my sweet father-in-law upgraded our family phone plan and I'm getting a fancy phone that I don't need, but want.  Keep me in check and make sure I still watch the children and don't suffer from cool phone addiction.  And smile, too.  'Cause it's okay to enjoy a cool phone.  Because I delight in the Giver of all good things, not because he is the Giver, but because he is GOD.

And........... I think I think too much, but that's how he made me!

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