Tuesday, April 30, 2013

The End of The Beginning

Today is April 30th, the last day of Autism Awareness Month.  It's the end of my beginning.

It's allowed my to talk openly about my life-- all of it.  Because when I can't talk about one thing in my life, I can't talk about anything.  My boy is very much my life.

Fittingly, we had our placement meeting today and it went very well.  I went in with the attitude that the teachers and administrators were there to help me, not to keep the best from me or my child.  That was the best advice I got early on.  Be informed, be an advocate, but be part of the team.  I have more to share about the meeting, but I've got to let in all sink in first.  We will be at the school I'd anticipated, but I got a good feel for the teacher and the classroom.  I've excited, energized, and hopeful for the future.  I felt heard and understood in the meeting, and yup, I cried a bit, but that's just me.  As I told the team, the onus of Jeremiah's potential is on me (well, on God through me, but you know, we only had an hour).  I never thought I'd be sitting in a special education meeting for my child. Ever.  But here I am, and that's okay.  Whatever it takes.  Wherever the path leads me.

I know.  Jeremiah's future is going to be amazing.

I've been thinking about awareness and acceptance and what that means.  And how it allows us to love our neighbor.  Some in the autism community feel like a blue bracelet or light isn't going to help their child.  And on face value, it won't.  But prayers will.  And understanding will.  And friendship will. And monies raised in scholarships will.  And research will.  And humility and gratefulness will.

Sure, I'm aware of autism.  As one blogger said, if I were any more aware of it, I'd be dead.

This month and this series of blogs has been about me accepting it.  And in turn, I have accepted so much more.

I've accepted love. New direction. New dreams. Hope. Laughter.

I know what autism means to me, and the outlook is not what my doctor said, or the textbooks outline, or what the educational prognosis might say.  It's a hands-on, first hand account of God's power molding my son day by day.

Thank you for loving me as yourself.  Thanks for being my neighbor.

James 2:7-8 (NIV)  If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, "Love your neighbor as yourself," you are doing right.


Jessica said...

So beautiful and articulate - Go, Mama! I'm right there with you. Our first IEP was a couple months ago. I was so nervous but aside from my mind screaming "I'm not supposed to be here!" it went very well and I came away feeling like A was getting all she was qualified for and needed, which is the point.

Jaybird said...

Thanks, Jessica! Whatever they need, no matter if it hurts our silly pride! Glad yours went well,