Thursday, December 10, 2015

Sending Christmas Cards in 50 Simple Steps

I just sent my second batch of Christmas cards.  I placed them on my lap as I pulled up to the post office box and took a picture.  I was about the ponder filters when I realized there was a nice lady waiting patiently behind my car.

I'm having a little sit-down with myself about this, promise.

I started to back-track all the steps I've taken to send these cards, and I present them below for your amusement.

1. Realize it's Fall and High Season for family pictures.
2. Float the idea casually to my husband.
3. Husband readily concedes as he knows this is a lost cause.
4. Price out photography sessions.
5. Contact photographer.
6. Set date.
7. Ponder family attire.
8. Go to Target for "some things".
9. Reschedule session due to weather.
10. Take pictures on a weekday afternoon, i.e. Get kids home, fed snack, repair hair, and clothe in subtle autumnal finery--dressy casual, natch.
11.  Curl hair, allow for last minute scarf debate, ponder options for best figure enhancement.  Don boots and big earrings.
12. Iron two options for Dad's shirt.  Iron son's shirt and daughter's dress.
13.  Meet Dad at a park and present shirt choices.  Realize this is a bit much.
13. Smile pretty.
14. Encourage children to smile pretty.
15. Promise playground time for smiling pretty.
16. Snag one last shot just-in-case.  We always need just-in-case.
17. Play on playground.
18.  Bribe anxious child with donuts and a promise to come back to park later.
19. Fall out on the couch upon arriving at home.
20. Wait 2 weeks for proofs.
21.  Wait an extra day for proofs as photographer's site is down.
22.  Drive to pick up CD of finished portraits to get them in my hot hand right now.
23.  Obsessively look at sun lit pictures of my offspring like the loon I am.
24.  Debate over posting offspring's pictures.
25. Post offspring's pictures.
26. Begin card hunt.
27. Find groupon and order cards.
28. Wait for cards.
29. Receive cards.
30.  Frame card.
31.  Find inspiration and deep dive into my OneDrive for all family pictures from Christmas 2008 forward.
32.  Order said pictures.
33. Order best sibling picture on canvas.
34. Realize it's time to send the cards.
35. Send husband out for pretty stamps.
36. Address and write a personalized note on batch one to my girls' life group.
37. Realize a year in review letter might be nice.
38.  Write year in review letter seeking to strike a tone between earnest, self-deprecating, and humorous.
39. Proofread and feel optimistic about tone.
40. Select pretty pens and address second batch of cards.
41. Sign letters.
42. Write personalized notes on cards.
43. Stamp and seal.
44. Drive to post office and drop off.
45. Take obnoxious picture.
46. Chuckle at myself.
47.  Count up the money I've spent on cards that may stay on a mantle for 2 weeks and quickly shove such practical thoughts aside.
48. Realize this is good blog material.
49. Blog and import obnoxious picture.
50. Post blog to minister to any woman who embraces the lengths we go to as Good Will Ambassadors for our families.

The End.

Fa la la la la, la la la la.


David and Kate said...

Love it! Send one my way!!

Jaybird said...

Facebook message me your address and I surely will!